He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
