you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize