Just cropdusted the office
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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