first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
