these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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