I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
it glows. i had to have it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
