come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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