not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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