he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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