Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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