Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
