let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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