I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
