Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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