I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
operation have a gay friend backfired
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
