I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
