yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
