haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
