the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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