When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
