But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
