i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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