sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
