There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
