You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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