i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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