And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
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Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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