maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
