i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
