I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
