my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
