6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
