Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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