Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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