is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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