Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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