he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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