is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
