Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
