But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
wow bdsm is so cute
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
