So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
