I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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