I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My ATM looks so different sober.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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