how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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