so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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