Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
