I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize