there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
