I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
