dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
