Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize