according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
