your thong is hanging out like whoa
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize