You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
