Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
COCAINE IS GR8
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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