just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
