I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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