U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
