Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
