Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
