i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Found the puke drawer
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
