I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
