Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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