no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
