You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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