Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Found the puke drawer
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
