it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
