But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
