k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I deserve this hangover.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
