I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
