do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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